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artisan sourdough – knife romance – my bananas are ready

good morning bigmoose partner,

as i pick up the loaf of bread in its paper sheathing, i read the writing printed underneath the black lined image of a single piece of wheat, like stereotypical farmer images of yore used to have dangling from their lips whilst standing at the gate of their farm, ready to offer directions to lost city folk in a somerset accent.

“does thee know the red lion a quarter of a mile down the road, well don’t turn there?”

of course they don’t know the red lion, sitting there in their bright red, highly polished 1963 karman ghia convertible, wearing their matching ray ban aviators, they’re lost.

i digress.

the writing on the paper protection reads thus.

artisan baker alex gooch.

dark and white sourdough.

“a great versatile, white sourdough with the addition of dark rye flour to improve the flavour and nutritional benefits.”

i’m in, alex gooch, you artisan baker, and master marketeer.

i pull the crisp heavy loaf from its paper protection and place it on the biggest of our five chopping boards we own, please don’t ask why we have or need five chopping boards, the answer to such questions are far beneath my pay grade, and as someone travelling around the sun for his 61st time, one of my lessons learnt is not to enter into such potentially inflammatory conversations, i have at long last reached the stage of life where i stay out of such discussions.

even if you say 1 + 1 = 5, you’re right – have fun.

i ponder this five board conundrum a while, and imagine the mighty oak, being felled to satiate tanias appetite for chopping boards, for context i have never bought a chopping board, or maybe its just a sapling needed, so far?

i digress.

the loaf sits proud on the beautifully crafted board, probably by artisan board makers, which is approximately 2.5 inches (63mm) deep, and approximately the footprint of an ikea “trotten” desk.

the fruits of alex’s labour deserve a good knife, and i reach for the serrated “global” bread knife, which with firm pressure cuts through with a noise that ignites a dopamine hit the like of which i hadn’t really measured until now.

i always think a good knife is important, and once travelled to derby (on my way home from manchester) to order a hand crafted “blok” knife for tania, engraved with her initials, a bit like sewing name tags into your children’s school clothes in case they are taken home by another person, and as i question my reason for initialing said knife, i think it was a purely innocent attempt at romance, i do wonder sometimes if i overshare in this blog?

the aroma reaches the third of my senses that this ritual is enveloping me with.

the end sits forlorn at the end of the trotten, as i slice the main event.

two circa one inch (25mm) slices fall to the right of the main loaf.

i then stack them on top of each other and cut them in half, to produce, you’re ahead of me here, yes, four halves.

i created this life hack some time ago when, due to the size of the sourdough, which meant it protruded out the top of the four slice dualit, an expensive toaster, but a workhorse like no other, resulting in me lovingly turning the toast every 30 seconds, a very inefficient use of time.

four halves of huge sourdough fit perfectly.

i crank the manual timer around to 5’ o clock, experience telling me this is enough to produce the most evenly toasted breakfast snack known to man, and as the timer whirred, the smell intensified,

my topping of choice i hear you shout?

the protein filled king of spreads, peanut butter, from a costco sized barrel no less.

thinly covered with sliced banana.

and today the sun is shining.

my bananas are ready. (and if you read that and giggled, shame on you)

bananas on my scale need to just have the skins turning slightly brown, producing soft, but not mushy bananas, which seem to me to be the most flavoursome and sweet.

i admire my craftsmanship, today is a good day.

and as i open my mouth and bite, the rainbow of flavours hits my neo cortex, aka the six layered cortex, which is a set of layers of the mammalian cerebral cortex involved in high order brain functions such as sensory perception, thanks wiki.

the process and theatre of this breakfast, is not as quick as pulling two frozen pre cut slices of nut and grain from the freezer, but i seem to prefer the experience, and slower pace, and food preparation is a great place to unwind, stop scrolling, and corny though it sounds, be more present, so maybe as i realise i have rambled quite time consumingly this week, maybe my challenge to you is to cook something for someone you love, a friend, your family, someone who doesn’t expect it, and see how it goes, you just might discover something beautiful.

next week i will make a cup of coffee, be sure to come back.

till then,

blue skies,

jeff

p.s. as i type this i have received a text informing me of our 53rd life we have saved.

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